Wants. Now there's a subject. I had found myself for years tamping down my wants. My needs were met, sort of, but to want something, oh boy, that was a recipe for disaster. Either the want would be denied, or worse, it would be given and then realized as a humongous mistake. *sigh* I know. I'm being dramatic. But somewhere along the way I found myself becoming more and more okay with things as they were. This would be fine, if things were really okay, but I'm no monk and well . . .
Moving to the farm was a game changer. Living here, in this haven of rural solitude and wonderful family stories was something I really wanted, but: Would my family support me in this decision? Would I be able to hack it? Would I like it once I got here? To get past all of the other W's, I had to give myself permission to come here for a year and see how it worked. No further expectations. (Of course, my brother and brother-in-law said I'd have to hire a moving company if I moved again. They're only good for 20-year-moves.)
And of course, moving here has been perfect, a bit of paradise, and not just for me, though I'm the chief recipient, but for my family in so many ways.
And why all this round-about-ranting and shouting? Well, of course, I'm finding I'm wanting again. And I need to develop a plan.
What do you want?
7 comments:
I know you always said you would give it one year in the country. Are you wanting to move back to the city?
oops, nope, that's what happens when I get off on tangents. I muddy the waters. Now I want . . . 1) someone to share paradise with, 2) a leaner me and whatever baggage comes with dropping weight, 3) world peace and understanding. Need to change the game, again, and expect good things to happen.
I don't know. I spin my wheels trying to figure that out. One thing I think I want is to leave Boston and maybe go to California...
It's good to get off on tangents. It helps you sort things out. The best time for change in our lives is when there is change in the seasons. Perhaps you're gearing up for a Spring change.
now talk about a game-changer, Rhea, that shirley would be one!
And Susan, as always, you let me try to work out my knots, and I SOO appreciate that. And you may be on to a big thing with the season change being part of some shifts. I like that!!!
Wants and more wants huh? Gee Sis, sounds like you're...human. I'm pretty satisfied too, way out here in the boonies, tucked away in the middle of a fruit tree forest in Southern Thailand, but the wants don't stop. Probably never will...
Have your cousin drop me a line if there are any questions, I've been teaching ESL for five years now, in two countries. -Jeeem-
oh gosh, what a thought! To be human! Sometimes I forget how absolutely wonderful that is, with all its whatevers!
I'll give Sande your email, Jeeem. Right now she's planning on heading a sightseeing group to Bhutan in October.
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